


A Little Unsteady

by doctorkilljoy



Category: Doctor Who, Torchwood
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Minor Spoilers for Rosa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 06:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16383245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorkilljoy/pseuds/doctorkilljoy
Summary: On her way back to Sheffield, the TARDIS makes another unexpected stop. She runs into an old friend in need.





	A Little Unsteady

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Old Ghosts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10797381) by [janto321 (FaceofMer)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaceofMer/pseuds/janto321). 



> I am not back to writing fic. I was having feelings because of the most recent Doctor Who episode and needed to deal with them. Also I read Old Ghosts by [Janto 321](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaceofMer/pseuds/janto321) and, well, this happened. 
> 
> Title is from _Unsteady_ by X Ambassadors which I was listening to while writing.

“No no no no no! Oh come _on_! Sheffield! You know what Sheffield looks like, you’ve been there before!” She signed and banged on the console, shaking her head.

“All right Doc?” Graham asked, and she looked up.

“Where are we this time?” Ryan questioned, looking towards the doors. She could tell he wanted to go out and see, but she hesitated. The reading she was getting from the TARDIS were unusual.

“Not sure yet, hang on,” said the Doctor. She flipped a switch, watched the readings fluctuate, and then declared, “Carlstaf Three. Why Carlstaf Three? There’s nothing here! It’s complete rubbish! Why would you want to visit Carlstaf Three?”

“I didn’t want to,” Ryan muttered and Yaz stifled a laugh.

“I was talking to the TARDIS,” the Doctor clarified. She pursed her lips together, but then, she felt it. She knew that feeling, that feeling of wrongness that put her off but was so familiar. She looked towards the doors and said, “Stay here.”

“Why? What’s going on?” Yaz asked, and she, Ryan, and Graham made to follow the Doctor.

But she held up her hand and said, “Stay here, I’ve got some business to attend to. Believe me, you don’t want any part of it.”

They didn’t argue, and the Doctor walked out of the TARDIS. They’d landed in a market, much like the one they’d been in last time she’d seen him. Bill had been with her then, and he’d looked so crushed when he saw her face. She took out her sonic and began scanning, hoping to find him fast.

She located him within minutes. Captain Jack Harkness, immortal Time Agent and former Torchwood leader. But something was wrong, more so than usual. For starters, he wasn’t wearing his coat.

He sat on a bench, hands in his lap, staring straight ahead. He looked wearier than the last time she’d seen him. There were more lines on his face, and gray at his temples. His clothes were drab, almost non descript, and she didn’t see his wrist strap anywhere.

This was the first time the Doctor had seen Jack look so old, though his face was as handsome as ever. It wasn’t only his features, but the way he held himself, as though he were fragile. How far along was Jack in his  unnaturally  long life? She couldn’t guess, and if she scanned him, she wouldn’t be able to tell. The time vortex within him was too strong for that.

The Doctor sat next to him on the bench and said, “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Hello,” was all he said, and that made her raise an eyebrow. No introduction? No snappy pick up line? No confident smile?  To say something was amiss would be like saying that Daleks were  slightly  temperamental.

“Don’t suppose you recognize me?” She asked, giving him a smile.

He turned and stared at her, and oh, it hurt to see that look in his eyes. That cold, remote look one got after too much pain and heartache. Knowing if you don’t lock your heart away in a distant tower, you might drown in sorrow. She’d felt that way herself hundreds of times, but to see it in Jack? No, that wasn’t right.

“Sorry, I can’t remember,” he said. “But judging from your wardrobe I’d say you’re not from around here.”

“Yeah guess that’s a big hint. So’s this,” the Doctor said, and took out her sonic screwdriver, showing it to him.

He flinched when he saw it, and he said in a soft voice, “Doctor?” His voice cracked, and his eyes had started to water.

“Yeah. Hello Jack,” she said. She thought for a moment she should go, but when a tear rolled down his cheek, she knew she couldn’t. Instead she pulled him into a hug and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Jack didn’t answer, he was shaking with the effort to stifle himself. Tears soaked into her shirt as he sobbed. She wondered what could have happened to Jack that brought him to this point? She couldn’t get blood from a stone, she’d have to wait for him to tell her.

That wasn't what she wanted at all. She wanted an eight point explanation  as to  what had happened and how she could fix it. That’s who she was, a fixer. Sitting there and holding him was making her uncomfortable. It made her feel powerless.  Just  like being on the bus with Rosa Parks. She was a slow learner, but she did learn. The Doctor would have to wait for Jack to explain. In the meantime, she hugged him back.

He pulled away, wiping at his face and saying, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lunge at you like that. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

The Doctor frowned and asked, “What? Why would you think something like that?”

“After everything, I thought…” Jack trailed off and swallowed hard.

“Tell me about it. Start from the beginning.” She wasn’t always the best listener, they both knew that. But Jack needed this, whether he knew it or not, he needed it.

Jack hesitated, something that was also out of character. He took a deep breath, and began. He told her about the 456 and the choices he’d made. About Miracle Day and again the choices he’d made. He talked about a man who’d fallen in love with a Weeping Angel. A woman who had lost herself on the edge of time. A genderless person that was sweet and silly and had died because of him. Countless lovers, family, and friends he’d lost along the way.

It was a lot, and the Doctor wasn’t sure she could follow what he was saying once or twice. But she was stern with herself, and paid attention as he poured his heart out. Jack spoke of the decisions he’d made. Of things he’d done that haunted him. How he was afraid to sleep and couldn’t most of the time anyway.

When he finished, he said, “And that's why I thought I’d never see you again.”

“What?” The Doctor asked, cocking her head back. She didn’t bother hiding her surprise.“Why would you think that?”

“Because of the things I’ve done,” Jack replied. “I thought you’d think less of me, or even hate me.”

“Oh, no Jack, no,” the Doctor said, taking his hand and squeezing it.

“I can’t help it. I’m not who you thought I was. And I can’t be that person.” He wouldn’t meet her gaze, and that made both her hearts ache.

The Doctor got to her feet, hands on her hips and feet apart. She said, “Captain Jack Harkness don’t you dare think that ever again!” She then kicked some dirt at him. Jack’s head snapped up and his eyes widened in surprise as the Doctor leaned over him. She made sure she got right in his space.

“You listen and you listen good. You’ve done terrible things, Jack. So have I, everyone does sometimes. Especially when they live as long as we do. And yes, you’ve made some choices  I might  not have made. But you had your back up against the wall and no options! You did the best you could each time.  Maybe  it’s not perfect, but there are a lot of people throughout time and space who are still alive because of you! And I would never, _ever_ , hold that against you, I promise.”

“But I--” The Doctor cut him off.

“You’re not unworthy! Come on, I’ll prove it.” She then took his hand and dragged him off the bench and down the street. When they turned down the alley, she felt a jolt go through him the minute he saw the TARDIS. He dragged his feet and tried to pull his hand away, but the Doctor held tight and said, “Come _on!_ ”

“But she won’t--” Jack began to say, but he didn’t finish his sentence. The TARDIS made a slight wheezing noise, and the Doctor felt her caress Jack’s mind. It was warm, the TARDIS was welcoming him. She felt tremors in his hand, and Jack pulled away. He went to the TARDIS and put his hand on the side, and the Doctor wished she knew what they were saying to each other.

Then Jack’s shoulders slumped, and the Doctor could see relief washing through him. She went and placed a hand on his shoulder, saying, “You’re always welcome on the TARDIS, Jack. No matter what. I know it doesn’t always feel like you're worth it. Especially when your thoughts get dark." The Doctor's voice dropped low and she murmured, "Mine go to dark places sometimes too. Even with all that? You’re still a good man. Because you’re Captain Jack Harkness.”

“You know that’s not my real name,” he said.

She shrugged. “And mine isn’t the Doctor, except when it is.”

He threw his arms around her and squeezed hard. The Doctor returned the hug, rubbing his back as she did. He whispered, “Thank you,” and let her go.

“Not at all, but I have one question.”

“Yes?”

The Doctor shoved her hands into her coat pockets and asked, “Have you still got your key? I’ve lost mine and I keep forgetting to ask her to make me a new one.”

Jack stared at her for a moment, and then threw his head back and laughed. “ I might. Come on, I'm not staying far from here.”

They returned a short while later. Jack looked himself again. He was still guarded, that much was true. The grey was still at his temples, the lines were still on his face, but the ice had melted from his eyes. Some of the old swagger was back in his step. Hopefully, he'd get back to his old self again soon. As he opened the door to the TARDIS he said, “I held onto this  just  in case.”

“Keep it, I may need it later. Or you will,” she told him with a smile. Jack returned it, and they walked in.

Graham was reading a magazine. Ryan and Yaz were sitting cross legged near the edge of the console platform, talking. They looked up, and everyone got to their feet.

“Doctor! Where were you?” Ryan asked.

“You were ages!” Graham added. “We  were worried .”

“You  were worried  you’d miss lunch,” Yaz teased. She looked at Jack and asked, “Who’s this?”

“Hi, Captain Jack Harkness,” he said, holding his hand out to her. “And who are you?”

“Stop it,” the Doctor said, but didn't keep the fondness out of her voice. Jack shot her a smile. Everyone introduced themselves, and she asked, “So, going my way?”

“Oh yeah,” Jack replied.

“Okay! Sheffield! I hope. Let’s try this again  shall  we?” The Doctor said to the TARDIS, and started the engine.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://talkingcinemalight.tumblr.com/)


End file.
